Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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