Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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