Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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