I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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