you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I understand Curling. That high.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize