hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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