I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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