do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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