I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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