We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
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True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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