I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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