Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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