Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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