I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize