At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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