Got a toothbrush?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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