Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize