it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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