just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
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would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
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WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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