I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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