Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
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I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
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Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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