Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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