What did we do last night that was yellow?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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