I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize