All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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