you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
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i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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