I just saw a hot homeless man
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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