Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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