Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize