He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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