i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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