Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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