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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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