how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Holy shit dude........stairs
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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