Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize