So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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