the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize