you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize