if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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