dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
please come you make the beer taste better
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you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
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The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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