Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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