My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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