So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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