Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize