the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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