Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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