i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize