I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
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i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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