i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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