Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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