Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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