So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
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I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
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I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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